I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
