You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm gonna have a badass scar
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
