I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
