im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's official drugs can't kill me
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
