So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
