I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
