Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
