I think i peed on brittanys purse
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
