so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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