why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
