Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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