I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
