TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
