Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
did i walk over a car last night?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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