so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
