I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
