so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
