garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize