dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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