If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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