I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize