I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
