she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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