Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
