I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
