you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
