We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
