She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
