I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
it's like heaven, but drunker
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
