Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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