so that wasnt chicken after all
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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