I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
