PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
