it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
