i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
