Me too!
your room smells of hookers.
And success
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize