I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
