I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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