I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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