He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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