I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
