so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
