His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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