yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize