the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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