Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
