I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
third nipple confirmed
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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