Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i out mim tonsoeep
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