does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize