He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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