Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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