I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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