Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
A+ Viking dick
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
