And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize