So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
