When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
