the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I am naked and annoyed.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize