i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
