but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
