I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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