everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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