Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
