But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
