i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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