just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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