my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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