I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
