Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
