I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
