I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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