I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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